Untitled Due to Lack of Imagination

I wasn't sure about blogging today. My thoughts are scattered, random and may seem pretty self-centered. I hate that. I'm trying hard not to think about what's happening around me, but it's not easy. But then who said it should be easy?

I woke up this morning frustrated with the leg brace that I pretty much wear 24/7. It's hot. It's bulky. It makes it uncomfortable to sleep. But I can't walk without it...yet. I'm supposed to be doing my strengthening exercises several times a day. I probably get in one workout right now. I know that doesn't help my progress. I go to PT three times a week, and I get frustrated with that fact that I can't even make a complete revolution on the bike. So we're working on the patience...

I woke up this morning feeling alone. Bob's had the most demanding week at work. The board of directors are in town for meetings all week. He's been trying so hard to juggle the responsibilities there and at home. I am so very thankful for him. I know he wants to be at home helping me, but he can't be here. He left this morning after making me a breakfast of eggs and bacon to heat up when I'm ready to eat. He put the coffee on. He set up my ice machine and motion machine. He's leaving work early tomorrow to take me to my doctor appointment. He's being the husband and friend I need right now, and I feel blessed.

I woke up this morning thinking I would rather be the caregiver than the one having to be cared for. It was hard this past week and a half, laying on the sofa, needing others to wait on me. But I think they felt good to feel needed. Don't we all want to feel needed?

I woke up this morning with a thought, "God, I know others have it so much worse than me." Here I am at home feeling sorry for myself for all sorts of reasons. Then I read in a devotional about bearing crosses and how God knows exactly how much we can bear. The crosses He gives me to bear throughout my life are given to me, not to make me suffer for suffering's sake, but to suffer for Christ's sake. So that He may be glorified through me. So that's been my prayer this morning. Through all the "pain" of dealing with the surgery and rehabilitation, with the feelings I have about Steve and Mish moving away, with Becca and her own struggles and being across the ocean, and with my own feelings, how can I glorify God?

Just after my injury, Mish left me this little note of encouragement. I have had in on my fridge every since...
"When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don't ask questions. Wait for hope to appear. Don't run from trouble. Take it full face. The "worst" is never the worst. Why? Because the Master won't ever walk out and fail to return...His stockpiles of loyal love are immense. (Lamentations 3:28-32, The Message)

I woke up this morning thinking I should write down all my blessings. It would be a very long list.